An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
