don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
