He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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