all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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