so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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