How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
