Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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