Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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