I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
