I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
