so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
