do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize