They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
