My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
