Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
