She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
