***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
