U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
