WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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