it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
