You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
