Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
