You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
