Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
