so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
