I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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