You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
