I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
