Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
