Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
