And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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