Your face is a jimmy john
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
