She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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