i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
