dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
