the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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