youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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