dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
