I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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