so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
