DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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