Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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