My first STD was from a foam party
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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