Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
