four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
