it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
