There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dick very happy bro
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
