i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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