K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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