I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
