a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
